I’m thinking about going back. It’s been a really long and difficult decision. I lost my job last October, so I guess that puts me at 10 months of unemployment. Losing my job really shook me up and hit my professional self esteem hard. Despite the reassurances of how being laid off was not a reflection on my work for the company, I couldn’t help but feel like I just wasn’t talented enough. I debated switching careers and being a teacher, I have looked for any kind of professional gig I could qualify for (Administrative assistance, etc.), but I think school is the way I am going to go. I am looking into some programs within my city and I hope that one will work for me. I’d like to get a degree of some sort in web/multimedia design. As of now, I have no idea if it’s even possible. I don’t know the cost, if I would get a loan, when classes start, etc, but I am looking. I’m looking and I’m excited. And to be honest, I haven’t been excited about something in a long time. I was one of those kids who went straight into college with a declared major and graduated with the same major. For the first time since high school I had lost my desire, my dedication and my motivation to pursue this career. And it’s not just a career, it’s a lifestyle. It’s who I am and it’s what I’m interested in. I love looking at design websites, I love critiquing fonts on billboards and for restaurants and get to appreciate when something unexpected is designed so well.
I hope this is the right choice, I hope that it doesn’t filter into nothing. I can’t wait until 5 years from now I can look back and understand why the hell I’m going through all this crap. I know this is a giant personal growth period in my life, but it sure does suck to go through sometimes. Hopefully everything will work out for the better.
